4:30 comes quick when you're trying to maintain a (semi) clean house, a (decent) relationship with your husband, and have a little bit of time to read (or scroll Instagram mindlessly).
But each morning, I would slide out of bed, turn off the alarm and head to the bathroom to get ready in exactly 12 minutes, sit and stare for three minutes, then head out the door.
I would drive the quiet streets, sipping an energy drink and arrive to the gym just in time to start the 5:00 AM class. I felt like I was doing it all. Getting my "me" time in, getting home in time to make some coffee for the day, and be there - awake - when my kids got out of bed.
I would try to sneak a nap in every day and still be exhausted when I rolled into bed each night. Six hours later, my alarm would go off and I'd do it again. And again. And again.
Until I couldn't.
I have tried for the past two months to be an early bird again. Some days, I just have to because it's the only time that makes sense to get to the gym. But if I have flexibility in my day, I use it.
Grace.
I give myself grace to set my alarm, knowing I'm probably going to snooze it. I give myself grace to snooze the alarm. And I've even been giving myself grace to skip the workout that day.
Along with more sleep, I am teaching my kids some important lessons by dragging them down to the gym with me. I am blessed to workout in a space where kids are welcome, even encouraged. There are toys, and people to hold them when they are crying, and snacks, and lots of love from other members.
They are learning a lot of patience. They are learning what healthy bodies look like, and how to move daily. They're learning that their mom is strong, and committed to her health, but also committed to having flexibility to drop the barbell and come break up a fight over Goldfish crackers.
I hear "MOMMY! MOMMY! MOMMY" each time I work out. But over the course of the time I have been bringing them, the screams have become less whining, and more cheering. They hop on a rower after class. They do burpees on the sidelines.
They're watching. They're learning.
So while I still try to make it to 5 am when I can (have to), I'm giving myself grace.
